A friend once said to me, when I admitted to having insecurities (as if I was not supposed to have them). She raised her eyebrows and said quite frankly, “Insecurities. Everyone has them”. I walked away from her that day, feeling free because I did not believe (or know) that everyone had insecurities. I thought I was the only one who had them! (I know, I know).
Another day, I remember laughing at (despite my own insecurities) this lady. Let me call her Blessing. Blessing was a 20 year old young woman I thought was my age mate (26) or at least one year my junior because of the way she carried herself. Blessing was very particular, not quite peculiar and I thought she was weird (I like weird). I will admit that her weird may have been too weird for me at the time. Her weird made me laugh but it stuck with me a while which is why I am writing about her today.
Today, something happened to me that struck a nerve and opened up my insecurities and in my momentary sadness, I remembered Blessing.
Blessing asked my friend for someone’s number and my friend asked her to ask the person herself. Later, I heard Blessing in the toilet praying for boldness to ask for this person’s number.
I found it odd that she was praying that intensely to be able to speak to a normal quite down to earth person.
For me, it is the easiest thing in the world to do. Simply approach this person and ask for their number. Why was she praying so intensely for something so simple?
She had insecurities about approaching people probably because of a past negative experience. Now she had to approach a person, she was panicking and needed to pray to be able to approach this person. This was an insecurity and she was dealing with it, the best way she knew how.
You see, today, while dealing with one of my insecurities, I remembered Blessing.
On another day, I would laugh at myself for being so silly but today, I felt ashamed. I felt rejected. There was no valid, verifiable reason why I should feel that way but I did. I accept it was in my head but it did not void my insecurity. In those few minutes, even though I knew in my head that I was being silly, it did not change how I felt.
Insecurities have a way of making people behave and act in weird and uncommon ways. Some of these behaviours are just defence mechanisms or fortified armours to protect themselves because something similar that initially created the insecurity had been triggered by a present occurrence.
Some like Blessing deal with it by praying and crying privately.
Others see a therapist or talk to a trusted friend. I usually just shut down for a few hours or journal or find respite and hide away.
After one of my insecurities reared its head today, I could not shut down or journal or hide away. I had to deal with it or I would be sad for days. I was already feeling very low when I remembered Blessing.
My next question was, “what does the Bible have to say about insecurities?”.
I found this verse;
(Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Philippians 4:6-8 NLT
Insecurities are dangerous. They are lies. They present a false picture of ourselves to us and we buy into it and whenever they arise, we, well, I crumple into a weird space and wallow.
I would have followed routine today but for Blessing.
She inspired me to reach out to truth and find a solution. I am grateful for her life.
Listen, do not allow your insecurities steal your happiness or cause you to feel like you should bend yourself, hide or wallow.
It is true everyone has insecurities but it is also true that you do not have to deal with them in the same way.
Remember Blessing! 😉😉😉
Deal with them.
You are stronger than you think you are.
You are not your insecurity.
God bless and keep you!