I was speaking to a gentleman who I was told was a Deacon in his Church. Wikipedia describes a deacon as “a ministry in Christian Churches that is generally associated with service of some kind, but which varies among theological and denominational traditions.
In many traditions the “diaconate” (or deaconate), the term for a deacon’s office, is a clerical office; in others it is for laity.” I used this opportunity to grill discuss my issues with the Church. Thankfully, he was graceful and honest and answered my questions. One of his statements that stuck with me was, “there are two things God cannot forgive”.
I, in my pride started arguing. How can he say that? The Bible does not say that. Where did he get that from? Jesus only spoke of one unforgivable sin and that was the grieving of the Holy Spirit;
(Matthew 12:31 New Living Translation (NLT) 31 “So I tell you, every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven—except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which will never be forgiven. ).
He corrected me and reminded me that Jesus also said that if we do not forgive others, God will not forgive us.
(Matthew 6:15 New Living Translation (NLT) 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.)
This caught in my chest and I remembered.
I remembered my hurt and pain.
I remembered the betrayal.
I remembered my anger.
I remembered that I had not forgiven.
I was still holding on to a lot of anger.
Which meant that God would not forgive me.
It was as simple as that. If I was unwilling to let go and release all who I had held in unforgiveness, God would not forgive me. This was the reality of unforgiveness.
I remember being afraid and begging God to forgive me while struggling to forgive all those I held in unforgiveness.
I had issues. Clearly.
I am better now, at letting go and allowing God deal with it.
I can breathe easier now.
I can receive God’s forgiveness because I have forgiven those who I detained.
God is still doing a wonderful work in me and I give thanks for that.
Love and Blessings!