Life is hard for a person who feels special but is really average. Life is hard for the person with average abilities who competes with people with better than average ability. Life is hard for the average person who fights against being average.
Now, before the stones come out, think about it. Everyone CANNOT be spectacular. To ask this of people, especially average people is not fair. This is not a post bashing average people. I refuse to insult myself. As an average person, I struggled a lot because I was competing with spectacular people (I am blessed to know a few) and was not able to be like them.
I struggled because I was told that I was special, great…all kinds of lovely sentiments (thank you Mummy!) but my actual ability did not match this view. It did not help that I am naturally lazy but my ‘average-ness’ is undeniable. (Lol!).
Mark Manson said, in his book, ‘In Defense of Being Average‘, “Being average has become the new standard of failure. The worst thing you can be is in the middle of the pack, the middle of the bell curve. The problem is that, statistically speaking, pretty much all of us are in the middle of that bell curve almost all of the time, in almost everything we do…A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept being mediocre, then they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life doesn’t matter. I find this type of thinking to be dangerous. Once you accept the premise that a life is only worthwhile if it is truly notable and great, then you basically accept the fact that most of the human population sucks and is worthless. And ethically speaking, that is a really dark place to put yourself”
I am not the worst of anything and I am not the best of anything and that is okay.
As a Christian, many of my brothers and sisters will shout NO! “We are the first (head) and not the last (tail)” in reference to Deuteronomy 28:13-14, a verse from the Bible which says “If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom“.
I take this to mean that God will prosper you if you listen to His commands. I do not think it means you are not average… (don’t hit me!)
They have thousands of competitions to decide who the best is, in Cookery, Fashion, Sports, Maths…yet! I am willing to bet there will always be someone better than these winners because the truly distinct and special are very FEW. Unless you are Bolt. Then you really are the best. Speaking of Bolt, I am sure other athletes work just as hard as he does, yet! He excels flawlessly because he is NOT average. The distance he gives the rest testifies of this, time and time again.
The term, “one in a million”, exists because it is probably indicative of the best. How possible is it that many are ‘the best’ when the best are ONE in a million?! This is not to say that average people are not successful, beautiful, intelligent or talented.
All I am saying is many average people are killing themselves to be the best when in reality, they will never be the best. We CAN be the best version of ourselves even though in the bigger picture, it is still average.
Average is not a bad word. It is not dirty. It is real. Average CAN be authentic, inspiring, unique. I wish people stop killing themselves to be ‘the best’ when they will never be. (Sorry to be the one to tell you).
Looking at the story (parable) of the talents (Matthew 25:14 -30) in the Bible, we can see from the get go who the best was. Have you asked why everyone was not given the same amount? I have always wondered. It is also clear who the average person was. The average man was able to provide a return. He made the most of his average-ness. He was rewarded accordingly. He did not try and compete with the man who was given more. He faced what was given to him and did his best with it.
Nigerian parents will probably say I am foolish and ask whether the best has two heads…lol!
Well, Mummy and Daddy, they have one head but are probably differently ‘abled’ than I am. They are differently gifted. They are gifted. They are better and it is okay. It does not (should not) reduce my value in your eyes. We cannot all be President. We can both work just as hard and I will not be able to beat them. It is just the way it is.
This is life.
I am accepting my average-ness and working on the best of me because I can never be an average version of myself. There is just me. I am the best, the worst and the average version of myself.
Please, if I am misunderstood in any way, let me correct it. I am not saying give up, be lazy. Sit in ash and wail. No. (please don’t do that!)
I am saying, if you are average, own it. Be the best you, you can possibly be. Make the most of all that has been deposited in you. Embrace the fact that although you may never be number one, you are and can be the best you possible.
Stop trying to beat the best (you cannot) and start trying to be the best version of you (who knows, in trying to utilise all your God given gifts, you might find that you are the best at something or in the very least, very good at something).
Oh, and give thanks that you are not below average or bad.
Live long and prosper you mediocre person you!