How do you see yourself?

I remember being asked by a friend, what I wanted for my birthday. I directed him to the used books section of Amazon. I kept highlighting the fact that these books were only 1p as if I was somehow less deserving if they were full price. It is true I asked for 3 titles by the same author but what breaks my heart when I remember it is, the part where I kept repeating, “they are just 1p”. 

This friend of mine is a peculiar one. I see him. I understand him. We are both very similar in a few of our insecurities which is probably why we argue so much. (I can write about him so freely because I know he will not be reading this). I have tried, unsuccessfully to cut him out of my life because being around him reminds me too much of my insecurities. I feel like I have something to prove and so, as much as possible, used to avoid him. 

I remembered this birthday present fiasco this morning and I was saddened. There are many more scenarios like this with other people. In every one, it always ends with me, having to prove to the other person that I am worthy of their time. Worthwhile. Good enough. Sometimes, I feel like I have to prove, I am enough.
I think of when I did the unnecessary just so the other person would regard me as equal. These moments I do remember, break my heart. We tend to not think of ourselves as good enough. We behave in ways that continually reinforce that belief. 
We set the bar for people to help us remain in that space. Yes, you read that correctly.

Please note,  if you are in an environment where people encourage you to look down on yourself or where people support your negative self view, please remove yourself from that space. It is unhealthy and a lie no one, especially you, should believe.
It is true that we should be able to see ourselves accurately, knowing our limitations, weaknesses and short comings. 
It is also true that we should be able to see that we are worthwhile, gifted and skilled in many areas. 

“Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”

Romans 12:3  (NLT)

In the same vein, do not see yourself as worse than you are – this, in my book is arrant nonsense.  There is a difference between humility and self-abuse.
Can you see yourself as you really are?
I always say this because I am increasingly grateful for this. I have people in my life that believe I can do anything. Literally. They believe, I can do anything I set my mind to do. Unfortunately, I am always in disagreement with these people. I was recently asked to complete something and I took it to one of these people, explaining why I could not do it, hoping, they would support me in my decision to turn down the project. They would not hear it or let me drop it. I got lectures about how if I applied myself, this would be very simple for me. Outcome of the story? I completed the project and moved on to something more challenging! Lol! 

 I learnt very quickly to avoid them if what was/is about to come out of my mouth is,  “I don’t think I can…”.
They see something I am unable to and they push me until I can see what they see (I am still trying to see). I do not see all my strengths, a lot of the time but I do try…
How do you see yourself?
Beside having a positive self image, it is so crucial to have a true self image.  Both are necessary! 
How do you see yourself?

I am learning to filter my thoughts AND my words when it comes to myself because we tend to allow the negative fill our minds and words.  This is detrimental to our well-being.
Seeing yourself in true light is crucial!
What informs the idea of who you are? Who do you listen to about who you are? How can they speak so authoritatively about you? Why do you believe it? 

How do you see yourself?

I have had years of people telling me who I was. Sadly, I believed them. Sometimes, I even revelled in some stupid labels I was assigned. Now, I am having to reject and renounce those labels because they are not me. In getting to know myself properly, in going back to the original script,  I am fast realising that I am not the person many people have said I am. They said I was notorious,  they said I was a bully, they said I was masculine, they said I was wicked. They said I was beastly. They said I was ugly. 

They said. They said. They said. 

What did I say? 
What did God say?
How do you see yourself?

I remember a few incidents and my heart still hurts, never mind that they happened a long long time ago. Sometimes I cry. Other times, I laugh at the absurdity of it all.  I am still having to unlearn a lot of things. I have started disbelieving a lot of things so that my true self can just BE.
Thankfully, I do not remember a time I have loved myself more than I do now. (YAY)

I am now living in a space where I no longer feel I have anything to prove, to anyone. In learning about myself, void of clutter and other voices, I have been able to grow and develop the positive aspects of myself. I am learning to see myself as I was created to be. Slowly but surely, I am starting to see myself, as God sees me. 
How do you see yourself?
In Genesis, we know, God made the Heavens and the earth, He said,  “it was good”. Look at the night sky, decorated with stars, the breath taking sky, beautiful animals with all colours and intricate patterns, of the land and sky. God called that good. Just ‘good’. What God calls good, I see as spectacular, wonderful, amazing, awesome, mesmerising,  beautiful. Outstanding. 

 If you have ever stood on the shore of an ocean and seen the point where the water meets the sky, you quickly begin to understand that just ‘good’ does not cut it as a description.  Yet! God said it was good. (Clearly, God’s standard is waaaaaay out of this world! Lol).
“Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like US… .”

Genesis 1:26(A) NLT

You are made in the image of God. God did not say, it was good after He made you. No! He went one better and created you in His image. If God’s creation He calls good is so amazing, how much more you created in the image of the Creator?! 

How do you see yourself?

 

Please, pause and answer this question! 
Dear reader, HOW do you see yourself?

On days when I wake up feeling off, I pray this prayer, a lot! It helps! Lol!

If you want, please pray it with me!


“Dear Lord, thank You that all your works are good. They are wonderful to behold.  Including me. Thank You for  fashioning me and knitting me so fearfully and wonderfully. Help me to see myself as You see me. Help me to remember that You have prized me above jewels and that I am valuable and worthy. Thank You for loving and guiding me to Your description of who I am. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Love and blessings! 

xox

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