This evening, tired and exhausted, I was sharing how my day went with a dear friend of mine when the topic of the gym came up. I explained that even though I have a membership, my working hours and my current weight have not allowed me to go and use my membership. I told my friend that until I reach a certain weight, I will not use the gym.
I have lost some weight and I showed her a picture of my face at my heaviest and my face last month. The difference was clear.
In order to find the picture, I had to scroll through quite a few pictures to find it (I have an album of selfies which take up over 7GB – I am honestly not vain). Whilst scrolling we stumbled across a video of me telling myself how cute I am (lol).
She smiles and says that that is what she envies the most about me – the fact that I actually like myself. As usual, I laughed and without missing a beat responded, “why will I not like myself, I am fabulous”.
A few days ago, I looked at myself in the mirror, while preparing for work and stopped for a few moments to just stare at myself in the mirror. I really liked what I saw. I love my face. I love everything about my face, my weirdly shaped nose included.
I love how I always look as if I am up to something, I always have a cheeky sparkle in my eyes, I love my smile, I love how my head is heart-shaped. I love my eyebrows and the scar in them (shout-out eyebrow lady). I remember being happy that I liked my reflection. So I stood there and just looked at my cute self. Lol! (I promise, I am not vain. I promise!).
Last week, I released a PSA telling everyone who views my status on my WhatsApp that I like me. I persisted on the update, “I really like me“.
My friend highlighting the fact this evening was a confirmation of the work that God has done in my life. My goodness! What work this has been. It was also a reminder of how far I had come…how far God has brought me.
I remember a time I felt worthless. If you know me now, that person sounds strange to you. I felt I was literally worth nothing. I felt ugly, I felt invisible. I felt like the world would be better, without me. I even have journals where I likened myself to a pig – no lie. I still have it. (A whole me, can you imagine??!).
During those days, I was lied to. Ignorant people told me lies and I believed them. I believed their lies so much so they became facts to me. Their lies took on personalities that would flog me until I embraced them. I would avoid any and all reflections, I would cover myself in black, I would not try for fear that no amount of effort could ever make me beautiful.
Listen, the devil is a special kind of liar. I did not like me because I bought the lie. They did not like me so I did not like me. I even helped them take it a step further, I hated myself.
I see now that when you go through certain things, you pick up weights that include all sorts, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and actually, physically. I was weighed down. I was oppressed and depressed. Good Lord. I was such a mess.
Thank God for God. He “lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord”. Psalms 40:2-3 NLT
God healed my mind. He changed the way I saw myself. Oh! He allowed me to see my own value through His eyes. Now, do not misunderstand me. I am far from perfect BUT I now understand that I am beloved. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am valuable. I am worthwhile. I am intelligent, funny, I am a child of the Highest God – that makes me royalty!
My smile lights up an entire room. I am not being boastful. The GREATEST Artist created my smile. My laughter is not annoying, it is contagious. My voice can bring encouragement. My song can bring healing in Jesus name, Amen. I am useful. I bring something to the table. I have substantial ideas and thoughts to offer. I am created for a purpose that is CHIDINMA SIZED. CHIDINMA SHAPED. No one can do what I was created to do.
Listen, the truth has been revealed and there is no going back for me. Everyone can say whatever they want to say, I can finally see how my Father sees me (I am sure that this isn’t up to 4% but it is a start. I will learn the rest). The fact is, I like me.
I ACTUALLY LIKE ME!!!!
This is my testimony.
I was lost. I did not know who I was. Now, I have been found. An heir of the Kingdom of God and gosh, does it feel wonderful!
So yes, I like me. There are some things about me that are unlikeable (I am human) but more than those bad things, there is plenty to like and love. So why should I not like me?!
I am fabulous!
…and I give heartfelt thanks to my Heavenly Father for His grace and mercy towards me.
He has made liking myself, so easy. I am starting to see myself, through His eyes and I like what I see.
Good God, I really like what I see!
Let us pray…
Heavenly Father, thank You so much for Who You are. Thank You that You are our Father, our Healer, our Comforter and our Friend. I ask that you open blind eyes to see the truth, You open deaf ears to hear the truth and that You bring everyone reading this into a place of truth in Jesus name. Remind every reader of their value and worth. May they see Your power in action and may it bring them to a place of peace, growth, truth and love. In Jesus name, Amen
Love and Blessings,