Today is #NationalGirlfriendsDay and I am all the way here for it. It is about time women celebrate other women instead of tearing them down. I scroll through my Instagram feed and I notice all these girl squads and I can’t but feel a tinge of envy in recognition of the fact that I cannot name a female in my life I have remained friends with consistently, even from High School. I have not hidden the fact that there was a time when all my friends were guys. The women I knew at that time were horrid and I had no time for drama. I had no time for women. I look at wedding pictures of some ladies in high school now and I recognise that these women maintained strong friendships throughout High School, University and after. I cannot help but wonder whether the problem is me. I mean, every girl cannot be the problem surely.
Fast forward to a decade after High School, I had managed to make a few girlfriends and they have consistently been my friends, I give thanks for them and they are still my friends today. The women I wanted to call my squad have since disappeared due to one thing or another. In other words, women have shown me pepper. Lol! Please do not misunderstand me, women are not all bad. I am not all bad. I am a woman. I have just been unfortunate when it comes to female friends, a lot of the time.
Fast forward further still, to the present. I discovered women, who in my time of need, God used to be a blessing to me – financially, emotionally and mentally. Women who put themselves out for my sake. Who when I ‘confessed my sins‘ did not throw stones at me, instead laughed and said, “you are not alone“. Women who when I was fearful and jittery, raised their eyebrows in shock and allayed my fears. Made me feel human again. Women who have supported me, prayed for me, made me laugh, sent me gifts, made me feel beautiful, normal, even special. Are all these women my “squad”? No. Do I see these women every day? No. Do all these women even live in the same country as I do? No. Do we talk every day? No. Does this make them any less my friends? No.
I have learnt to guard my heart when it comes to people in general. If life has taught me anything, it is that people will people (not a grammatical error). I remember praying for good female friends earnestly. With unattached guy friends, there was always room for mess. I prayed for women who would stand with me, pour into me as I pour into them. Give as much as I give and take as much as I took. I was tired of failed hopes and disappointments when women I had taken as friends turned around and negatively did the most. I used to think I did not need female friends but this was a lie born out of hurts and blows. We all need friends and more than that, we need godly female friends. Friends with sense, friends who fear God and are not so quick to do evil to another (I can tell you stories). It is important to always ” Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble” – Proverbs 13:20. Keeping foolish women around you, WILL make you foolish.
I remember the story of Moses in Exodus 17:10-13. It always makes me cry. Here is what happened: “So Joshua did what Moses had commanded and fought the army of Amalek. Meanwhile, Moses, Aaron, and Hur climbed to the top of a nearby hill. As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle”. Every time I read this story, I remember that no man can be an island. We all need somebody or in this case, two people. To hold up our hands when we are tired. We need someone to remind us of things we have forgotten, bring back focus, help us when we do not have the strength to help ourselves, uphold us when we are tired and cannot walk. We cannot do it alone.
I think this is why God created female friendships. There is something you get from other women, men are unable to bring to the table. So, on this #NationalGirlfriendsDay, I give thanks for all the females that have crossed my path. The ones who were in my life and at one point, I regarded as friends, the ones who passed through and the ones who are still in my life. To all the women I am yet to meet, whether near or far, you have been a blessing and or a lesson to me. I am grateful for you. May God bless and keep you, cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace in Jesus name, Amen.
To my friends who are present, here and now, my examples, my blessings, my gist partners, my fact checkers, prayer partners, my encourage-rs, counsellors, lawyers and defenders, I hope you have a wonderful day and “I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers” – (3 John 1:2). Here is to you all.
Happy National Girlfriends Day! 🙂
Love and Blessings,