Heart Thoughts – Prayer of a Christian – Part 1

Dear Lord,

I feel like a fraud. I know that we are saved by grace and that there is nothing we could have done to earn salvation but I am here, I am saved and I still feel torn. I feel like I am fighting a battle I cannot win. It is always something.

Dear Lord,

I noticed that I have become incredibly selfish. Everything is about me. How I feel, how they make ME feel, how it affects ME ME ME and somehow, that does not feel right but I have so much unlearning to do that I cannot help focus on me. There are stupid habits I have picked up, attitudes I need to change and things that cannot remain if I am to be whole but to do that I have to focus on self. Where is the line Lord? I am sometime told that YOU will do the renewing, the transformation but I cannot just sit there, I have to contribute to the process. Or did I misunderstand that?

Dear Lord,

Some people are frustrating me. I sometimes feel like they do it on purpose because they know I have to forgive. So they take frequent liberties. I read somewhere that not saying how you feel is purposely robbing yourself of inner peace. With this group, it is like I am ALWAYS ‘complaining’. Walking away is not an option…yet and I cannot keep complaining. I have to forgive and let their stupid behaviour go. I have to be the bigger person and not cause harm. I have to make sure I do not leave them worse than I met them but Lord, I want to cuss them out badly. They are getting on my last nerves…forgiveness is a command. I know I have to forgive. You have to do something – change me or change them. Change us.

Dear Lord,

Let it not look like I am not grateful. You are such a wonderful Father. I see your hand in all the beautiful and wonderful things in my life. I cannot refute that. You are a good and kind Father. You are so loving and I give heartfelt thanks for You. I do wonder about the route to You. I wonder how some people have messed with the route to You. I sometimes feel stuck on the road to You and wonder if I have gotten it wrong at some point but did not know.

Dear Lord,

If I have gotten wrong, will You show me and bring me back unto the right way? Will you correct the wrong thoughts and cement the right ones?

Dear Lord,

Deception is rampant. I do not want to be deceived because the deceived believe they are right in their own eyes. The worst thing that can happen to me is to hear, ‘depart from Me‘…after all of this, to hear that would be soul-destroying. Is there a way You could help me always make sure I am not deceived?

Dear Lord,

I will stop here because I feel like, this is already too long…thank You for always-listening. Help me learn to listen to You as well. Teach me to wait on You more.

In Jesus name, I pray.

Amen.

Love and Blessings,

xOx

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